


Labels

by theflyinganonymouse



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 02:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/743179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse/pseuds/theflyinganonymouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is not gay and he is definitely not falling for one of his best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Labels

 You weren’t sure when it first started.

 Or how.

 It was probably little things at first, stuff you barely noticed, didn’t think about.

Maybe an extra smile here or a friendly arm around the shoulder there. Perhaps even blushing slightly at the flirting you did for the cameras.

 You didn’t really know.

 But it could have been going on for months before you finally realised what was happening.

 Before you finally realised what it all meant.

 And, as soon as it hit you, you tried to push it away and ignore it because, what the hell?

 You couldn’t be attracted to one of your best friends, you just couldn’t.

 It just felt… _wrong_.

 You were like brothers and you were both straight.

 But, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

 Thinking about  _him_.

 Analysing every touch, every look, every word.

 Had you held his gaze for too long?

 Had he wrapped his arm around you first or had you been the one to initiate contact?

 And why the hell had you said  _that_?

 Did you want to give yourself away? Had he noticed?

 Good, he was laughing, you had gotten away with it…

 You didn’t understand it.

 You weren’t gay.

 You liked girls. You honestly did. You had lost count of the number you had kissed, number that you had slept with.

 And, maybe, you had started hooking up with more fans recently but that had nothing to do with trying to prove just how heterosexual you were.

 No, you were young , famous and the girls were throwing themselves at you. It was what was expected of you, wasn’t it?

 Just…why didn’t it feel as fun as it did before?

 Why did it feel like you were betraying him?

 And you had to be going crazy because he definitely wasn’t sending you wounded looks whenever you brought a girl back, was he?

 No, he couldn’t be.

 Because he wasn’t gay and he definitely wasn’t interested in you.

 Maybe you had done something to annoy him?

 That was probably it.

 It explained why he wouldn’t quite meet your eyes anymore and refused to stay in a room for a longer than a couple of minutes when it was just the two of you alone together.

 It surprised you how much it hurt because why should you care if he suddenly had a problem with you? It wasn’t affecting the band and none of the other boys had noticed anything off between you.

 Or at least you thought they hadn’t.

 But when Liam shows up on the doorstep of your flat with  _that_  look on his face, you know that he’s worked out that something’s wrong.

 “What’s going on between you and Niall?” He asks once he’s inside. You notice that he doesn’t even say hello. “Have you had a fight?”

 “Not as far as I’m aware.” You tell him, coolly, because you hadn’t, had you?

 “Then why are you avoiding each other?”

 “Have you spoken to him?” You ask, ignoring his question.

 “He won’t tell me anything.” Liam sighs and you lift an eyebrow because Niall’s not known for his ability to keep a secret.

 Liam shakes his head and shrugs, “I know, it’s weird. Normally all you have to do is look at him and he’s telling you exactly what he’s thinking, if you want to hear it or not.”

You sigh this time and after a moment’s pause you say, “he’s the one with the problem. I really don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”

 “You must be able to think of something.” Liam presses you, frowning.

 You cross your arms over your chest and don’t say anything because you can definitely think of a couple of reasons for Niall to avoid you.

 “Zayn, talk to me, man.” Liam says and you can’t help but think that he sounds frustrated. “I can’t help you if you I don’t know what’s going on.”

 “What makes you think I want your help?” You ask, almost rudely.

 “Look, you either talk me and we try and sort something out or I’m going to set Louis on you. It’s your choice.”

 You glare at him but he doesn’t even flinch.

 Bastard.

 “Zayn…”

 “Fine.” You snap and you take a deep breath before saying, “I like him.”

 Liam’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion, “we all like him. Niall’s a nice guy.”

 You stare at him incredulously and let out an angry sigh because, really, is he trying to make this harder for you than it already is?

 “No, I like him. Like,  _like_  him, like him.” You grind out.

 “Oh.” Liam says and then his eyes widen with understanding. “ _Oh_!”

 “Yeah.”

 “Why didn’t you say you were gay?”

 “I’m not.”

 “But you just-.”

 “Only Niall.”

 “Oh.” Liam says again.

 “I think that’s why he’s doesn’t want to be near me.” You say. “I think he knows.”

 “Shit.” Liam whispers.

 “What am I going to do?”

 “Have you tried talking to him?”

 “And say what? ‘Hi, Niall, you know how we’re both straight? Well, actually, I really fancy you. Do you want to fuck?’” You snort. “Yeah, I imagine that going down well.”

 “You don’t have to say it exactly like that.” Liam tells you.

 “It doesn’t matter how I tell him. He’s not going to like me back. How can he? He’s straight.” You let your arms drop to your side before bringing a hand up to rub at your face, tiredly. “I don’t understand it, Liam.”

 “You like him.”

 “Yeah, but I’m not gay. I’ve never felt like this about a guy before. What if this is a fluke or something and I make a move and then I ruin everything?”

 “I think you’re worrying about this more than should be.” Liam tells you. “Niall’s not a homophobe.”

 “But’s he not gay.”

 “I know.”

 “And neither am I.”

 “Talk to him.” Liam says. “You’ll work something out.”

 But you don’t talk to him.

 You can’t.

 You don’t what to say, where to start.

 And it’s consuming you.

 Your every thought, your every action, is about him.

 He still avoids you, doesn’t look you in the eye or let you touch him and it  _hurts_  because you want him more than you’ve wanted anyone.

  _Anything._

Liam keeps giving you those looks and Louis asks too many questions and Harry flits between you and Niall, poking and prodding and trying to extract information from the two of you.

 You don’t say anything and you’re pretty sure that Niall doesn’t either.

 Louis and Harry think you’ve had an argument and don’t understand why you’re not trying to make up already but you keep telling them to back the hell off and keep their noses out of it.

 This only makes them whine and moan and scheme and when you find yourself locked in your dressing room after a gig with only Niall for company it doesn’t really come as a surprise.

 And yet, the words still don’t come.

 You pace and swear and Niall watches you with a carefully blank expression.

 You want to scream.

 You don’t.

 Instead Niall breaks the silence and you come to a stop, “this is my fault.”

 “What do you mean?” You ask, cautiously.

 “I’ve been avoiding you.” He tells you with a simple shrug of the shoulders. “The others noticed and now we’re stuck in here.”

 You nod and courage fails you.

 The room falls into silence once again.

 “I’m not gay.” Niall says.

 Your heart plummets and you feel sick but you force yourself to nod.

 “I know.”

 “But, lately, I don’t know, it’s like I can’t get you out of my head.” He continues as if he never heard you. “I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s not right, you know? I shouldn’t be thinking about you like that because we’re mates, like, and you don’t think about mates like that.”

 “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You ask and you step closer to him, so close that you’re almost touching and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek.

 “Yeah.” He says and he looks down at the floor, a blush colouring his cheeks.

 You put a hand on his chin and tilt his head up so that your eyes meet.

 “I’m not gay.” You say.

 Then you kiss him.

 It takes him a moment to catch up with the movement but when he does it’s better than you could have ever imagined and you never want it to end.

 Eventually, it does.

 “I’m not gay.” You repeat, a smile tugging at your lips.

 “Neither am I.” He says.

 But then he kisses you again and you suddenly realise it doesn’t matter.

 Straight, gay, bisexual.

 They’re only labels.

 And love…love is something completely different, something that transcends any word that you try to stick on it, so indescribable that you don’t even try.

 And, maybe, you think you love Niall and that, maybe, he might love you back.

 And, for you, that’s enough.


End file.
